Woman's Life | Blog | Unfulfilled desire to have a baby

Unfulfilled desire to have a baby and how to handle it

It's a big challenge for you and your partner: Difficulties in starting a family can be very emotional and trigger stress. As a woman, life seemed so perfect. You've found your dream partner and you want to complete your happiness with a child with him. But life doesn't always follow this path and the shared desire to have a baby remains unfulfilled.
 

Content overview: 

1. The biological clock when starting a family
2. Physical causes of absent pregnancy
3. Together as a whole, never alone
4. Talking to others can help
5. What can have a positive effect on fertility?
6. Pearl by Beurer fertility set: increase your chances

The biological clock when starting a family

Is the biological clock ticking? The thought is not helpful and creates mental pressure. But what exactly is meant by the biological clock? The best time for pregnancy depends not only on the desire itself but also on your physical condition. From the age of 30, a woman's fertility decreases and so does the likelihood of having a child. Men's fertility decreases around the age of 40. So don't wait too long if you want to have a baby. At the age of 45, only 0.2% of women become pregnant naturally (Helios Magazine, 2021).

Physical causes of absent pregnancy

But it's not just the biological clock that can put you under pressure if you want to have a baby. There are numerous physical causes that can make conceiving difficult. As conception is only possible a few days a month, the desire to have a baby can be difficult. The prerequisite for this is the mental and physical health of the man and woman as well as ovulation and fertile sperm.

The most common reason is biological fertility disorders. The man's physical causes include impaired testicular function, ejaculation of the sperm, antibodies to sperm cells and infections (cf. pro familia, 2023a). In women, gynaecological disorders such as ovarian dysfunction, adhesions, other physical diseases or endometriosis are known to be the cause of fertility issues.

Together as a whole, never alone.

All the investigations into the cause of the problem can put you, as a couple, to the test. Uncertainty before a diagnosis is always worrying. Depending on the diagnosis, treatments are initiated that can also be unsettling. And at the same time, you can cause distractions for you and your partner. After all, the desire to have a baby should soon come true. The result is psychological pressure. Your stress level can also impact your relationship. Disputes, fears and depression irritate your hormone balance and can hinder fertility further.

There is no easy solution to this, but you need to work together as a couple.

• Be open with each other
• Talk about your feelings
• Give yourself time
• Don't set goals
• Create space from the subject of fertility
• Talk about alternatives when pregnancy doesn't happen
• Talk about how your future might look without children

Talking to others can help

It is particularly difficult to spend time with couples with children if your can't have a family of your own They have fulfilled their desire to have children and nothing seems to stand in the way of their family happiness. Nevertheless, you should try and be open about your challenges in starting a family. There are no benefits to focusing on this and possibly risking infertility due to emotional stress. Talk openly with your friends about your feelings and show mutual understanding for each other.

Talking about feelings is not easy for anyone. However, it's important to look at things from another perspective. Whether you decide to adopt, foster or not have children at all, professional help is at hand.

What can have a positive effect on fertility?

In addition to couples therapy, there are natural ways to increase the chances of becoming pregnant. This includes timing sex immediately after ovulation or a few days before, as seeds can survive up to four days in the female body. A healthy lifestyle with sufficient exercise and no stress also has a positive effect on fertility.

Don't always think about conceiving during sex. This reduces fun and increases psychological pressure. Some pressure can also be released with sex outside ovulation. Planning and monitoring are not always necessary to conceive.